


Always

by AtLeastWeWontBeLonelyInHell



Category: The Mentalist
Genre: Drama, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, re-post from 2013
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-06
Updated: 2013-11-06
Packaged: 2019-10-11 04:16:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17439773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AtLeastWeWontBeLonelyInHell/pseuds/AtLeastWeWontBeLonelyInHell
Summary: He leaves a thousand paperfrogs all over her apartment the next morning, placed on her drawers, in her kitchen and even on her bathroom sink.Knowing it could never be enough.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> And a BIG special thank you goes to the wonderful clairebare for beta reading!

 

 

**Always**

**.**

**.**

She’s not letting him out of her sight after his house goes up into flames-

_(not even for a God damn bathroom break)-_

and he can’t believe she’s serious.

(Of all people she’s the one suddenly not caring about privacy anymore).

But he’s one step ahead of her and it takes just a second to slip two of her hiden sleeping pills into her coffee mug.

It doesn’t take long before her words become slurred-

_(and she’s stumbling right into his arms)-_

her eyes falling shut tightly.

He puts her down on her couch-

_(in an stable side position just in case)-_

telling her how sorry he is-

_(before kissing her forehead softly)-_

whispering how much he loves her.

(Leaving her locked up in her office for her own safety).

.

He’s not sorry when he takes the devils life-

_(not even for a second)-_

he knows it makes him a monster too.

_(But he couldn’t have cared less)._

Only then he sits down on the cold marble floor-

_(waiting for the police to come)-_

and arrest him.

It’s Cho who finds him first-

_(telling him his rights)-_

and finally leading him away from the dead body on the floor.

.

This time she doesn’t come to see him-

and he’s not surprised.

It’s Cho who comes instead, with a bag full of blueberry muffins every single time.

.

He’s not sure how he does it-

_(but when his trial is over)-_

they let him walk as a free man out of the courthouse.

He leaves the country the same night.

(Asking Cho to keep in touch with him).

_(For her sake)._

.

And it is Cho who calls him one day-

telling him that’s she’s about to break.

(And he doesn’t think twice about it before leaving South America and flying back to Sacramento).

.

When he finally picks the lock to her apartment-

(the first night he’s back in town)-

he finds her unconscious on her living room floor.

_(Empty pill bottles all over the place)._

He cradles her into in his arms-

_(carrying her into her bathroom)-_

trying to push his fingers down her throat.

She fights him like the stubborn woman she is-

_(even now when half unconsciously in his arms)-_

but when her eye lids start to flicker and she’s finally looking up at him-

she stops.

It’s just then he grabs her even tighter-

_(finally shoving his finger down her throat)-_

stadying her trembling body while she starts vomiting blue pills into the bathroom sink.

.

He puts her back to bed later-

_(listening to her heartbreaking sobs for the rest of the night)-_

leaving before sunrise.

He leaves a glass of water on her nightstand-

and a paper frog on her doormat.

(Knowing it won’t be enough anyway).

.

Cho calls him again,

_(a few days before leaving the CBI too)-_

and Jane knows he has to go back.

He finds her in her office at midnight-

_(completely wasted)-_

and takes her home.

He’s pretty damn sure she’s not even realizing he’s there-

_(until she’s doubled over in her apartment)-_

throwing up all over her living room floor.

(And he’s holding back her hair carefully).

_(Cursing himself)._

.

He leaves a thousand paperfrogs all over her apartment the next morning-

_(placed on her drawers)-_

_(in her kitchen)-_

even on her bathroom sink.

(Knowing it could never be enough).

.

He makes sure she gets the job offer the same morning-

and he’s utterly relieved when he gets the news.

(With a sad smile on his face he’s watching her leaving Sacramento just a few days later).

.

He keeps tracks on her-

_(staying always near her)-_

_(just in case)-_

and he’s glad when he hears that she’s doing better.

(She even began writing christmas cards).

.

On the anniversary of Red Johns Death-

_(two years after he killed that monster)-_

he gets a call from Grace.

She’s crying-

_(completely hysterical)-_

rambling something about a farewell letter she got from Lisbon.

.

When he barges into her house a few hours later-

_(and finds her sitting on her kitchen floor)-_

she’s already pointing a gun against her temple.

He starts begging-

_(but she just laughs)-_

shoving the gun across the floor into his direction.

„It’s not even loaded,“ she whispers her voice breaking.

And he has to blink-

_(once, twice)-_

realizing what she just did.

(For the first time ever, one step ahead of him).

.

He’s already on his way out-

_(pissed and relieved at the same time)-_

his hand on the door handle-

_(when she hurries after him)-_

taking hold of his hand.

_„Stay,“_  she whispers softly.  _„Please stay.“_

(Her beautiful green eyes filling with tears).

.

He’s not surprised when he finds his leather couch standing in her office at the station-

_(and his turquoise tea cup in the kitchen)-_

it’s just like she always knew he would find his way back to her.

_(Always waiting for him)._

He makes her coffee-

_(placing her mug and his tea cup side by side on her desk)-_

_and just in time_ before she comes in.

And when she finally casts a side glance-

_(he looks up at her from his place on the couch)-_

smiling up at her.

**.**

**.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Always**

**.**

**.**

She’s not letting him out of her sight after his house goes up into flames-

_(not even for a bathroom break)-_

not even for a second.

(She doesn’t even care about privacy anymore).

In the end he fools her by slipping sleeping pills into her coffee mug-

_(it’s her own fault, because she was hiding them in her desk drawer in the first place)-_

and before she knows what’s happening she’s feeling dizzy, unable to keep her eyes open.

He puts her down on her couch gently,

telling her that he’s sorry-

_(before kissing her forehead softly)-_

whispering that he loves her.

(Locking her up in her own office).

.

When she wakes up again it’s dark and Cho’s sitting right beside her-

_(watching her with the same stoic expression he always does)-_

and she knows it’s over.

.

This time she doesn’t go to see him-

she can’t.

She asks Cho to go instead, making sure he takes blueberry muffins with him every time.

.

She’s not sure how-

but in the end Jane’s walking out of the courthouse again as a free man.

She waits for him that night, in the darkness of her apartment. But he didn’t show up.

The next day he’s gone,

_(vanished)-_

and not even VanPelt is able to find him.

.

Rigsby and Van Pelt are next-

telling her that they’re expecting twins with a proud smile on their faces.

And she wants to be happy for them-

_(she really wants to)-_

but she can’t even manage a smile.

(They probably won’t send her christmas cards).

.

She’s losing it at a crime scene a few weeks later-

_(in front of more then 45 people)-_

because she heard awful things about Jane somewhere behind her back.

(It’s enough to make her snap).

It’s Cho who holds her back, while she’s screaming and tossing in his arms-

_(trying to get free)-_

trying to shoot all of those stupid morons around her.

.

When she comes back home that night, she doesn’t even bother turning the lights on before she goes straight into her bedroom-

taking all the sleeping pills and pain killers she has left.

She comes back to her senses when someone tries to push his fingers down her throat-

_(she wants to fight it but she’s so tired)-_

and when she get’s a blurred look at his face she just stops.

_(It’s Jane)._

He grabs her roughly then,

_(finally suceeding shoving his fingers down her throat)-_

holding her in an almost deadly grip while she keeps vomiting little blue pills in the bathroom sink.

.

When she wakes up the next day she’s lying in her bed-

_(a glass of water on her bedside table)-_

and a paper frog on her doormat.

(She throws him out of her car on her way to work).

.

Cho’s the next one leaving-

_(leaving her to work with the FBI)-_

and she can’t help but feel betrayed.

_(And she’s almost sure there’s something like pity on his face)._

(But she could be wrong).

She’s imagining things for so long now.

.

That night she opens the bottle she was hiding in her desk drawer since Sam died-

_(sitting alone in the dakness of her office)-_

wallowing in memories of a long lost time.

She has no idea how she manages to get home-

_(and she’s not sure if she really wants to know anyway)-_

but the next thing she knows, she’s on her knees in her apartment throwing up all over her own living room floor.

(Jane carefully holding back her hair).

.

When she wakes up the next day-

she finds thousands of paperfrogs all over her apartment.

They’re sitting on her drawer,

_(in her kitchen)-_

even on the bathroom sink.

_(And it almost feels like they’re watching over her)._

(Either that or she’d lost her mind).

.

She get’s the job offer the same morning-

_(and she’s not thinking twice before she tells them she’ll take it)-_

leaving town just a couple of days later.

.

It’s a beautiful little town in the state of Washington-

_(and even when it’s not what she was dreaming about a few years back)-_

it still feels right.

She’s doing a good job as chief even when there’s not much to do anyway.

(But maybe that’s a good thing).

She starts reading-

_(and writing)-_

and somehow it helps her to get through the day.

(She even starts writing christmas cards).

.

She’s sitting on the kitchen floor with her gun pressed against her temple-

_(two years after Red John dropped dead to the ground)-_

when he comes barging in through her front door and right into her kitchen.

_(Breathless)._

(Begging her to put down the gun).

And she can’t help but laugh-

_(already shoving her gun over the floor in his direction)-_

„It’s not even loaded,“she tells him with tears in her eyes.

He blinks-

_(once, twice)-_

slowly realizing what she’s done.

_(And probably for the first time ever, she’s one step ahead of him)._

.

He’s already on his way out-

_(his hand on the door handle)-_

when she manages to get to her feet and takes a hold of his hand.

 _„Stay,“_  she whispers.  _„Please stay.“_

_(Her tears on the verge of falling)._

_._

The next morning when she comes to the station-

_(there’s already a cup of coffee waiting on her desk)-_

standing right beside a certain turquoise tea cup.

And when she casts a side glance-

_(she finds him lying on his couch)-_

smiling up at her.

**.**

**.**


End file.
